Yo Mo my bunch of Hoes...
That's not nice, I'll try again! 'Well, Hello people!'
I'm happy, can you tell? Because, on Saturday, whilst chilling in the South of France (my life sounds so much more exotic when typed) I realised, as of the 31st January, I haven't drank for 3 months!! Woop Hoop Da Loop Hey?? The last time I drank was at Soho House with the girls for Halloween, making that - October 31st!! How bloody good is that?
I think I've found it quite easy, surprisingly. I have more energy, I seem to be finally leaving the detox stage where I come out in pubescent spots, and I feel pretty darn good about myself in a slightly egotistical way. Slightly, better than you, because you have succumbed to the British culture of getting sloshed every weekend. Wa ha ha indeed!
No, I kid. But giving up drinking has made me see the world in a different light (a sober light, if you may.)And here is some reasons how, I have bullet pointed them out, just to make my point that ever so slightly clearer.
*Now, when my friends drink more than once a week I feel the need to have "a talk" with them, in this parental fashion - highlighting the problems of binge drinking.
*We have also established in recent posts that dickhead drunks piss me the hell off.
* I also can't stand louts, although I am pretty sure I never have.
* I don't like people who shout when they're drunk.
* I don't like stupid people. (These people can be drunk, or just stupid.)
* And my latest pet hate, is piss head women. The ladette culture from the 90's that I was sure we left a while back, is back! But, instead of the girls wearing 'Girl Power' T shirts and sticking two fingers up, they are properly made up, almost elegant looking things, necking back the shots.
Now, if you are friends with me on Facebook, you will see that I too used to dibble in tequilla on a night out, but now when I see women, gussling back the beer, with 5 inch heels, fake tan, fake nails, fake hair, fake boobs, ass out - It just irritates me.
Am I becoming a snob, or is life just a tad different when you are sober? I mean I am from Northampton, I can't let drunken louts and drunken "girls on tour" piss me off too much, or I will never go home to visit mum!
The only thing I have missed about drinking, and I'll be honest is: Is the abilty to lose your inhibitions. Afterall, this is why we drink. To "let your hair down", "be silly" and basically give yourself an excuse to look and act like a dick. I mean, how many times have you said the reason, "Oh, God, its 'cos I was drunk!" ??
Now, I don't get that option. And I can hardly pick something else. "Oh, I'm sorry I threw up on you, I was high on sugar!" - So yes, my one miss, is the abilty to switch of auto pilot and to be a dick for a night. I will have to make due with being a dick without having the excuse...
As usual, if you like, repost. Its embarrasing only 13 of you read this!